It seems to be a contradiction in terms....... being blessed through adversity. Yet today as I was sitting in relief society listening to the lesson I realized that it has happened to me, but I never fully recognized it until now. I've spent so many years just surviving and making it day to day I didn't take the time to fully appreciate the nature of my circumcstances and how blessed I've been in so many ways. One of the biggest blessings has been our son , Ben. He has also been our biggest challenge. I can't even hardly think about Ben as a challenge without feeling guilty for even thinking it.
I love him more than anything in the world and have often wondered how we got to be the ones lucky enough to raise such an amazing spirit. However there are days I wonder if I or Ben will live to see the end of the day, if you know what I mean. I've learned so many things and had experiences I never dreamed possible because Ben has been a part of my life. experiences and blessings I wouldn't change or give up for anything. Yet, the hum, drum of everyday life can be wearisome, long and frustrating.
In D&C when Joseph was in his darkest hour and thought the lord had abandoned him, he cried out wondering where he was. When all along the lord was there for him. Just not in the way that he had hoped. And the experience was for his own good. This simple act of the love the lord showed Joseph, even though it seemed harsh, has happened to me in my life. I, too, have wondered why I have been given the trials I have and why an innocent child must bear the cross he does. Then I realized even though it may seem a trial, it is really a blessing. It's what makes us grow and be strong. And hopefully one day when this is all over I will be able able to see the full picture of this life and why it was all for my good.
In the meantime I just count my blessings that I have an amzing husband to help me get through all this and amazing girls who love and teach and help their brother the best they can. and we all have the Lord when nothing else works !
I love you all and hope you a great week !
General Conference April 2020
4 years ago
1 comments:
That lesson today was good. I've seen the blessing from this past year of trials and I'm grateful that I was tested and that I can see the growth that we've all had. I'm glad you are seeing and feeling the blessings too. I think that's how Heavenly Father wants it to be and also it's what gets us through another day/trial. You are an amazing mother ... Ben & the girls are so lucky to have you as their mother. Have a good week.
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